May 19, 2012

Being A Friend Isn't Always Pretty

Wanna know what makes it super hard to be there for friends in their time of need?

Growing up in a family where no one shared their emotions.

Yeap, that will make it hard.

I grew up in a family that never shared when they were upset. There were no hugs, no using the word “love”, and you didn’t cry in front of people.

When you were hurting or upset you would go off by yourself and cry, that was how we did things.

I can tell you with complete honesty that this has had a serious affect on my relationships …
You see, whenever I was around someone who would begin to cry I would almost freeze. 

Terrified, frozen with fear, I had no idea what to do… what do you do for someone who’s crying?!  I didn’t know… we always cried in hiding.

As horrible of a person as this may make me sound, do you want to know what I would do?

I would leave.

I would walk backwards slowly (I can almost laugh now thinking about it, but really I was terrified and it was NOT funny) until I reached an exit… then I walk as fast as I could away from the situation.

Once I figured out that I needed to at LEAST remain in the room with the other person, I discovered I had another obstacle to overcome.

I have a huge heart… I am very sympathetic… and while there with the person in need, their hurts become my hurts. Their tears would become my tears… but wait!! We grew up taught to never cry in front of other people!

So I’m there, completely out of my comfort zone (my comfort zone is outside, away from this whole scenario) trying so hard to hold back the tears that I think my face is about to burst, and my throat is holding a huge lumpy rock that I can’t swallow!

With chin quivering, fighting the urge to bolt out the nearest door, I realized that being a true friend isn’t always pretty.

Being a true friend isn’t always easy.

Being a true friend sometimes requires you to step out of your comfort zone.

Sometimes it means letting them see your “ugly cry”

Sometimes it’s hard.

Sometimes it hurts…

That’s what it takes though, to be Jesus for someone else.

That’s what I mean when I say Less of me… more of You.

I make it about you, even when my instincts tell me to bolt… I plant my feet right there with you, the good the bad the beautiful and the ugly, because A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17

Friend… I’m here with you now,  if you need prayer, if you need advice, if you need anything at all… just let me know.


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