A Heavy Heart...

I sit here today with a heavy heart... so heavy.


Even as I write that I almost smile at the thought of it. I've had quite a few pets in my life... I've loved them all, but I've always looked at them as just that... a pet. I never really grew attached to any of them... they were pets after all. That is, until Kiwi. My beautiful little Quaker Parrot. Green and fluffy ball of laughter. 

I wanted a Quaker Parrot for 5 years before I received Kiwi for my Christmas present this past year. She learned so many words and phrases. She would say "pretty girl" she would do the wolf whistle, she would make kissing sounds, she would say "Do you want it?" and "Good girl". She would say her name "Kiwi" and when she wanted to be picked up she would say "step up".  She would mimic the kids laughter and the sound of our living room door squeaking open. She would say "ouch" and mumble different things like a little cute grouch. We all loved her. 

She craved attention. She would fly down, or climb down from her cage and seek out someone... when she would find you, she would climb up your pant leg, up your shirt until she reached your shoulder... she would look at you and snuggle up to your face, give you a tiny peck on your cheek and make a kissing sound.  


My children would play on the floor with her... she was so much entertainment for us. You could ask her a question, and she would bob her head up and down for "yes" or ignore you for "no" and she knew what you were saying!

 That all ended Monday night... 


A boy with a hurt knee...    hopping on one foot trying to make it to the living room... a small kiwi on the floor in that living room looking for someone to play with... kiwi went unseen.


Please pray for us... I know this sounds insane, but Kiwi was as much a part of our family as any one of us. I've never cried over the loss of a pet... until Kiwi. I cried so much Sunday night, I woke up Monday morning with swollen eye lids... SWOLLEN EYE LIDS! 


I don't know if it was because I'm getting older, or because it had been so long since I last cried my eye lids freaked out, or the combination of the both of them... but I had never before had swollen eye lids from crying!


My son... my beautiful son... he loved that Kiwi... and he is hurting, because it was his foot, and he feels his fault... and his heart breaking each time he sees one of us hurting.


Someone said maybe it we were so close to Kiwi because she could speak.  I thought on that for a while... I don't think that's true. I believe if Kiwi spoke even more than she did, but was attached to her cage and never wanted us to mess with her we would not have been as close to her. I think what made us love her so much was her yearning to be affectionate with us. She sought out love and attention. She would come and find us... she MADE us love her because she loved us so much... because she loved to be near us.


I thought "wow" how much more is our God pleased with us when we seek Him out... when we crave to be near him... when we go at great lengths to just be in his presence? 


Everyone who came over played with Kiwi, everyone laughed with her, everyone loved her!! Could it be that this little tiny parrot loved Community?!  I would dare to say so. 


Thank you so much for your kindness... and your prayers... we really need them right now.